unconfident

Still remember once when my teacher asked me for the reason of rejecting her recommendation to make me the class monitor when I was still a Form One student, I answered, "I don't want to burden myself by giving myself additional responsibility." And guess what, I was scolded. Some sentences from her speech still remained in my mind until today. "How are you going to take care of your family, and how are you going to survive in future if you are scared of responsibilities?" It was then that I realised what a coward I was, not being dared enough to bear consequences due to a lack in confidence. Anyway, that incident caused no impact on me, how pathetic...

It was so irony for someone who is so unconfident in carrying most of the tasks in life, like me to ask others always to have faith in themselves. Recently, due to my lack in confidence and fear for bearing consequences, driving somehow appears to be a great challenge for me. When people ask me to drive, I'll try to reject. But, no worries because I'm working on it now. Wish me luck to find back my confidence in driving and in whatever things I do. I'm off to go...

Tiredness

Under the scorchingly hot sun, my shirt was soaking wet with perspiration, the perspiration of fear, disappointment and stress. Turning the knob, I gave the door a shove that it swung open widely. My little bed came right into sight. The textbook, calculator, stationery, papers in my bag were mentally so heavy that I had to drag my shoes along, all the way to my table. Prammm..., my bag got landed forcefully on the chair. The fan was switched to maximum speed. Taking off my shirt, I just fell onto my bed like a stone sinking into the sea. The sound of the fan was the only melody in my ears. I did not care if my sweaty back would make the bed sheet dirty. My shoes were still on and I was still in my tight jeans. With ear phones "plugged" in my ears, I was looking up at the fluorescent light. It was so bright. Many things flashed through my mind so quickly that I could barely remember them. Already Gone was the first song played. This sad song made me more emotional. My mind started to flutter and my eyelids were drooping. Soon, I found myself lying motionlessly with a calm yet depressed mind. I couldn't move a single muscle although I was still awake. Even if there was a man with a knife standing right in front of me, I think there won't be any reaction from me. I was so exhausted that even my involuntary reflex system couldn't function. Soon, I was sleeping like a log.

Oh, it's three already, which was the exact time my replacement chemistry lecture started. Taking my pencil case and calculator in one hand, I ran to the lecture hall. Gasping for air, I stepped into the lecture hall and found my lecturer standing inside. I was going to take a seat at the behind row when he suddenly shouted: "Hey you, come in front please!" I was still blurred at that time....